I need to use this . Really.

Remember that "deny reality" thing?  Getting there.

I had a lot to write but I need the proper inspiration.

If I get into the habit of writing here I'll improve myself. I know it.

3/20

A month away from the best day.  Hehe, I jest.

I don't have much to say today.  I got things on my mind, but they wont' make it to the blog this time.  Anyone got any tips for improving your attention span?  To put it lightly, I need to learn to study... :/

Spring break coming up soon.  I have mixed feelings mainly because I was supposed to visit my friend but it turned out too expensive.  WELL I GUESS MY BACKUP PLAN of smoking weed and watching anime every day will have to do~

Man I'm weird.  Sometimes I hate myself for it, but right now, I'm just glad.  Because fucking Escaflowne, man.  Gonna start that soon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG8xEgxUrN8

I don't really have much to say today so here's a song from my youth.  Perhaps one day I'll go into my once-prominent love of anime.  Today, it's just a thing I look back on fondly.  It's rare I'll watch a new one.  Just ones I loved when I was little... or ones my friends manage to get me to watch >.>.

I'm feeling good right now. Wasn't earlier. But am now. That's all that matters.  Peace out, nobody.

Ok what

I need to stop being so self conscious.  I play Quidditch at school on a club team and everyone is really REALLY cool but they're all so much closer than I am to any of them and they're friends outside and I almost feel like I'm intruding on their group.  Especially because me + physical = no.

It's either I'm too open or I'm not open enough.  The latter embarrasses me in hindsight and the former leaves my social life lacking.

Dreams and Reality

Well using this happened.  Not.  I've been dreaming a lot about middle school recently.  The people, the place, and how it affects my daily life today.  Surprisingly a lot.

I promised myself I'd not fall into the same pit I did back then where I idealized something that clearly couldn't have been that good (my friends that I had lost over time.)  And now I seem to be doing that for middle school.  The sensations, the feelings, everything about it seems almost as close as my real life experiences right now.  I could be walking down stairs on campus, and the rubber smell would remind me of the stairs at Bridges.  It's fucking weird, man.  Almost as if, assuming I wanted to,  I could deny reality.  Good thing I'm not crazy enough to want to do that... entirely.  I'm just a little worried that I might get to that point eventually.

I have to stop idolizing the past but when everything is in motion that's tough.  I can only hope I never miss high school, at this point.

actually going to start using this again

I need to keep a journal to collect my thoughts.  My very sad, strange thoughts.  Or maybe the blissful ones.  I'm just makin' it public to keep my narcissism in check.  Also, who knows?  All this practice in writing.  Maybe I'll change.  Maybe it will be my passion again.