Today.

Was a mixed bag.  I realized I have very few friends and none of them are close.  My jealousy of those that have been succeeding is turning me into a very difficult person who only has more trouble going out.  I seem to have some sort of "RESCUE ME" attitude thinking that people will come and get me out of my room, and say "let's go on an adventure!" or something.  Even that one moment would be great.

People come for my roommate a lot.  So far this year only the same person has come for me twice, and the second time she just wanted to give me leftover pizza.

Today I was really down on myself until someone from school - without prompt - talked to me on facebook.  It's really weird, for even facebook contact to be enough to 180 my mood.  But sometimes it's enough.  And today it was.  It was a preeeetttyyyy laaaaaadyyyy~ (with apologies to her for the exaggerated creepiness should she ever find this) which helped.  And since I've been close to being on top of the world.

I'm just going to have to try harder!  I think I can do better.

Another thing that boosted my mood: this video below.  Not because of his suffering but because he knows that, even though he may hate himself, there's still so much more to do in life - and he is very strong to rise to the occasion and use his strength positively.

That last moment is so poignant and I wish I had the strength to actively remember that he's absolutely right.

 Some days I feel hopeless just like the way he describes.  His tears are truly genuine, and major props to him for speaking out in such a productive way.  I hope he takes comfort in knowing that this video has gone viral and will inspire many.